Ed’s Side of the Frank Walton-Ed Babinski Story

I first learned about Frank Walton’s “Atheism Sucks” website from J. P. Holding’s “Tekton” website that mentioned it as something worth a peek. I peeked and saw that Frank had created an expanded homage to J.P. Holding’s “Trophy Room” (a room at Holding's website where he lists those whom he imagines he has “defeated” in debates, so basically what Holding has done is hand trophies to himself--can anyone say "narcissist?"). And though Frank could have constructed a homage to J.P. Holding in the form of cataloging and listing what he agrees are J.P. best pro-Christian arguments, instead, Frank denigrates Holding's debate opponents, photoshops them and calls them names. His frequently employed monikers for me include "stanky breath," "most wacked out atheist" [forgetting that I am not an atheist but an agnostic], and "narcissist." J.P. Holding praised Frank for calling me "stanky breath," perhaps because their levels of wit and humor are similar.

Frank also posts photographs of the prison (or one near enough like it) in which J. P. Holding was formerly employed as a librarian, along with images of some of the inmates with whom Holding may have rubbed elbows. Frank suggested that anyone who sought knowledge of who the pseudonymous Mr. “J. P. Holding” was, and who broadcast such knowledge on the internet was endangering Mr. Holding.

I agree that publishing such knowledge on the internet might indeed put Holding in danger. I also read that one inmate told J. P. Holding that if he ever met him on the street, he'd kill him. (Though that makes one curious as to whether anything J.P. said or did in the presence of that inmate could have led up to such a threat. Holding has not said anything about that further question.) On the matter of fearing death in general, Christians are taught to "fear not him who can kill the body, but fear him who can cast both body and soul into hell." So maybe playing up one's fear of being killed is not a perfect witness to J. P. Holding's or Frank Walton's faith, but simply illustrates a human/humanistic concern/fear.

Of course if J. P. Holding thought it was vital above all to maintain his anonymity, why get involved in one of the most controversial of subjects, religion? Why spend countless hours, eventually quitting his job to go full time, so he could challenge, provoke, and engage in a multitude of online debates 24-7 (many of them including some form of verbal heat)? Why volunteer to be featured in Christian apologetics videos on Youtube.com? On the other hand I remain hopeful that J.P. Holding will continue to open up and share with his readers the story of his spiritual and intellectual journey.

Having read hundreds of testimonies and books by people entering and leaving a multitude of different "folds" (and having wrestled with putting my own recollections and knowledge in perspective via composing such a piece and editing a book of nearly 3 dozen such testimonines, a third of which consisted of people who remained Christians but who grew more moderate-liberal in their views, see the book, Leaving the Fold: Testimonies of Former Fundamentalists), I have come to appreciate self-examination as an important tool that helps a person gain persepective concerning all they knew and now know, and which helps them (and others who read their stories) to learn things about themselves and their kinship with others, things that they might not have suspected prior to such an endeavor.

All that being said, I was curious after peeking at Frank Walton's "Atheism Sucks" website, and wanted to learn about his testimony as well, since as I said, I have read many first hand accounts over the past three decades from people who enjoyed talking about their journeys of mind and soul, and I continue to find something particularly intriguing about learning how and why people undergo changes and in what ways. I also work at a college and had read at Holding (or Frank’s sites) that the latter was attending college, so I asked him which college. One can read the first email I sent Frank along with his reply and further exchanges that date from April 4th to May 5th 2005, here, at Frank’s website.

For the Record as Frank shows at his own website, I sent him
1 email on Apr. 4th, waited for his reply, and he replied.
1 email on Apr. 5th, waited for his reply, and he replied.
1 email on Apr. 6th, waited for his reply, and he replied.
1 email on Apr. 8th, waited for his reply, and he replied.
1 email on Apr.11th, waited for his reply, and he replied.
1 email on May 4th, waited for his reply, and he replied.
1 email on May 5th, waited for his reply, though I don’t have a record of him replying directly to me via email to that one, he later did leave at least one message on the guestbook of my website, sometime before or on May 23rd to announce that he'd completed a web article about me.

Notice that I originally sent him 7 emails in the space of 30 days (something he apparently refers to in his memory as "countless," and he replied to all six of them. Apparently his message sent to my guestbook boasting of his creation of a web article about me constituted his seventh reply. So he replied to all seven of them.

Frank also claimed that I was "uploading my anger" at him, but I simply asked him a few questions, and challenged his view that "atheism sucks" via examples. My "anger" was neither visible nor relevant. Neither did he tell me at that time to cease emailing him, but rather told me to "keep hacking."

It was weeks after May 5th that I contacted Frank and sent him a few brief emails, and without anger. (Brief ones with some information I found interesting and that he designates as "unrelated topics and links" though they were related to questions of religious belief/non-belief). Those emails were also sent to friends other than Frank, none of whom complained of having received them except Frank. He told me at that time to cease sending him emails, which I promptly did, and his own website, last I looked, stated that it had been "over 500 days" since he had received any sort of unsolicited email from me. Ergo, Frank lies about me being the "ultimate spammer," it's quite the reverse, and in fact it would be nearer the truth to say Frank is both a slanderer and spammer. See below for more details.

NOTE: I will not try to say I am always and in every way totally in the right, because people have different perceptions and interests even when it comes to information one person is curious about and that the other couldn't care less about, or is insulted to read about. So I apologized to Frank a while back for sending him those brief unsolicited emails, and as I said, I ceased sending them when he told me to cease. At a later time I even apologized at length to Frank, and to Glenn Morton--whom I never "stalked" but who had been put on an email list by someone else, and I was also on the same list, so my replies were being sent to "all" on the list--furthermore after I re-joined Theology Web forums, I sent Glenn and over ten other people a private email introducing myself, the same email sent to all, which was friendly in tone. Glenn took offense at that time, and was the one who incorrectly assumed I was "stalking" him for having joined Theology Web. However it was J.P. Holding who invited me to join Theology Web. Both Glenn and even Frank accepted my apologies at first. And Glenn suggested that Frank forgive me as well and concentrate on better things. Frank however, did not take Glenn's suggsestion, but intensified his attempts at his blog of personal intimidation. See below.)

If I may apologize yet again for all to read, I regret and apologize for having pursued my curiosity (about such things as Frank's journey of mind and soul) further than Frank’s patience would allow. I suggested that it was not even necessary for him to share personal details that might give away his name or location or church, but that I wanted to hear about what motivated him, what his journey has been like in general. He replied to my inquiries in an increasingly agitated fashion, and claimed that I was "angry" and invited me to "hack some more," and then he went into high insult mode designing a web article as his next "reply," and sent me unsolicited emails at my website letting me know where his article may be found. The article featured our initial 7 emails and my photo with arrows pointing to my mouth coupled with Frank's lowbrow verbal insults.

After seeing the web article he'd produced about me with my photoshopped picture, I didn't respond in kind but merely sent Frank some of the brief emails mentioned above, that contained maybe a link or two on topics of interest that I was also sending to some friends. I should have ceased contact with him earlier (but to be truthful I remained curious about his further reactions at this point).

Frank sent me approximately fifteen unsolcitied emails, all in one twenty-four hour period on May 25th 2005, to which I only sent one email in reply on that same afternoon, saying, “Frank buddy, I don't mind receiving emails from you, but could we switch to my home email? I used my work email when I wrote you originally because that's where my webmaster contacted me about your guest book message and so I emailed you from work. I have to remember myself to use my home email in future,” after which Frank started sending his unsolicited emails to BOTH my work and home email boxes.

Frank also posted both my home and work email addresses on his website with this note:

“[W]henever we get junk email we do Babinski the pleasure of forwarding it to him. As a matter of fact, readers, if you ever feel like using Babinski’s email for whatever reason (use it for spam; or send him Bible verses - one verse at a time, one day at a time; or send him an article about whatever topic; or send him an email with nothing in it, etc.); you can go ahead and use it...”

Of the 15 emails Frank sent me during a single 24-hour period May 25th 2005, I deleted the ones that simply consisted of chapters of Genesis and Philippians. But I saved the ones with personalized subject lines that Frank wrote. Here they are (to conserve space I’m only including the headings, subject lines and time sent, and only presenting 9 of the original that approximately totaled 15). Note some of the things Frank wrote in the SUBJECT lines below:

----- Original Message -----
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 1:45:48 AM
From: Frank Walton
Subject: Phillipians chapter 3
To: ed babinski
Attachments: Attach0.html 6K

----- Original Message -----
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 1:46:23 AM
From: Frank Walton
Subject: Phillipians chapter 4
To: ed babinski
Attachments: Attach0.html 6K


----- Original Message -----
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 2:29:02 AM
From: Frank Walton
Subject: Have you also seen this movie?
To: ed babinski
Attachments: Attach0.html 1K


HERE’S WHERE I SENT FRANK MY REQUEST TO NO LONGER USE MY WORK EMAIL ADDRESS, BUT INSTEAD USE MY HOME EMAIL ADDRESS:
----- Original Message -----
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 10:39:16 AM
From: ed babinski
Subject: Frank buddy, could we switch to my home address?
To: Frank Walton

----- Original Message -----
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 1:30:24 PM
From: Frank Walton
Subject: Stanky mouth, here's Genesis chapter 1
To: ed babinski [Frank’s nickname for my home address]
leonardo3@msn.com
Attachments: Attach0.html 27K


----- Original Message -----
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 1:39:50 PM
From: Frank Walton
Subject: more stanky breath tips... hope it helps
To: ed babinski
ed blabinski [Frank’s nickname for my home address]
Attachments: Attach0.html 4K


----- Original Message -----
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 1:41:20 PM
From: Frank Walton
Subject: stanky mouth, here's Genesis chapter 2
To: ed babinski
ed blabinski [Frank’s nickname for my home address]
Attachments: Attach0.html 20K


----- Original Message -----
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 1:42:36 PM
From: Frank Walton
Subject: an update from tektonics.org
To: ed babinski
ed blabinski [Frank’s nickname for my home address]
Attachments: Attach0.html 54K
THE MESSAGE FRANK INCLUDED WITH THIS EMAIL BEGAN WITH THE WORDS: “Requiem for a Blockhead” [an article by Holding]

----- Original Message -----
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 2:53:51 PM
From: Frank Walton
Subject: hi sewer breath, here's another
To: ed babinski
ed blabinski [Frank’s nickname for my home address]
Attachments: Attach0.html 22K

----- Original Message -----
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 2:54:48 PM
From: Frank Walton
Subject: [No subject, but it was Genesis, chapter 4]
To: ed babinski
ed blabinski [Frank’s nickname for my home address]
Attachments: Attach0.html 20K

DURING THE SAME TWENTY-FOUR PERIOD DURING WHICH I REC'D THE BARRAGE OF EMAILS FROM FRANK, I ALSO REC’D THE FOLLOWING EMAIL FROM A DEVOUT EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN IN THE MILITARY IN IRAQ, SOMEONE I’VE KNOWN A BIT LONGER THAN I’VE KNOWN FRANK WALTON

----- Original Message -----
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 at 8:58 AM
From: Timothy T.
Subject: About that photo of me at atheismsucks.com, funny story
To: ed babinski
Hey Ed.
Just to show you that I do read your postings from time to time, I'm going to take advantage of a lull in the battle rhythm here to answer some of your recent posted statements and articles.But first: Nice picture. [Referring to the photo of me at Frank's website.—E.T.B.] And yes, “Atheism Sucks” is indeed too confrontational. Our goal is to try and draw people in by our love and sound reason. I doubt very seriously if J.R.R. Tolkein could have finally gotten the atheist C.S. Lewis to see the truth of Christianity if he had opened with “Hey Clive, you suck!”
Tim

I replied the next day to Timothy T., saying, “It was not a photo snapped for my website. I was taken by a photographer at work when I was asked to make a one-line comment about a topic that I found funny. I was asked what I thought about Furman Univ. possibly building a retirement village on the campus: I answered: ‘Does this mean that there will be no more benches for the students to sit on? Won’t the old folks be using them to feed the pigeons? Yes, I know that there are currently no pigeons on campus, but when the old folks come won’t the pigeons follow?’ And as for your remark that ‘Atheism Sucks’ is too confrontational, I feel the same way, and always felt that way as a Christian too, when evangelizing others, especially one on one. I suspect that folks as confrontational as Frank Walton (at atheismsucks.com) are being deliberately confrontational to avoid confronting what they fear most, i.e., atheists/atheism. If you can turn such people away from you right from the start, then you have avoided getting to know them as persons, or getting to see anything of value in them or anything they say. There is a discussion over at tweb involving Christians who disagree or agree with Frank's tactics. I recently joined in, and even cited your comment above, just identifying you as ‘Tim.’]

Frank also contacted Glenn Morton who held a grievance against me, yet even Glenn did not agree with the lengths to which Frank had gone to insult me, and told Frank that he had forgiven me and suggested Frank do the same.

From May 25th to July 30th 2005--I exchanged a dozen comments with both Walton and Holding in a forum thread on Theology Web titled, “Confrontational Apologetics” that was begun by Matthew. My posts in that thread between those dates can be read if you click on my profile page here (my tweb name is Babaloo), and then click on “Find All Posts By Babaloo,” and scroll down by the date where they begin, till you get to May 25th 2005 and click on it. In that thread I posted portions of the Bible in response to Frank’s note of absolute confidence that he "didn’t see anything in Scripture" regarding how non-confrontational a Christian ought to ideally be.

And instead of dealing with the Scriptures, Frank cited my photo, my breath, and what he perceived to be my grotesquely evil behavior, anything rather than explain why he denied that those particular verses had anything to do, in his opinion, with how confrontational a Christian ought ideally to be.

Those verses certainly appeared to have some connection with the question of “Confrontational Apologetics,” which was the topic of the thread that both Holding and Frank were studiously ignoring. In that same thread Holding told me, “You are so danged stupid it hurts.” While Walton wrote “At least he [Holding] has fans!" [unlike me, supposedly--E.T.B.] So I mocked back, saying, “They cloak themselves in darkness and spend each day creating cartoon voodoo doll images of ‘unbelievers’ to poke verbal pins in, and congratulate themselves for winning imaginary ‘Trophies’ in debate [something J.P. Holding does].” I also pointed them toward some of my fan mail.

To be sure, I am far from being the only person to have ever been insulted by Frank. See for instance a post that Frank wrote about Reginald Finley: "Proof that Reginald Finley is a complete loser" (http://atheismsucks.blogspot.com/2005/09/proof-that-reginald-finley-is-complete.html) [edited to break link, copy & paste if you want to see it]

I emailed Reginald to see whether he’d seen Frank’s post and received this reply, “Yes. Frank used to come to my site and attack me directly. However he has backed off my site since one of my members posted his home address and we caught him in too many lies to count on my forum.”

In August 2006 Frank sent me an unsolicited email directing me to one of his blog entries titled, "Is Ed Babinski a Homophobe?" He said my use of the words "gay atheist" to describe a blogger called "The Discomfiter" was akin to homophobia. But "The Discomfiter" was intentionally trying to imitate the persona of a "gay atheist." "The Discomfiter's" own blog profile read like this: "Industry: Fashion; Occupation: Interior Decorating; Interests: Refuting Christians...and remodeling Tuscan style villas." So based on "The Discomfiter's" own blogger profile I wrote that I was addressing the "gay atheist" blog owner of "Discomfiting Christianity" (And I put the words, "gay atheist," in quotation marks because I did not believe that "the Discomfiter" was gay nor an atheist, but that he was a Christian (as it turned out he was, Paul Manata) who was attempting to satirize both gays and atheists. So if anyone was "homophobic" it was The Discomfiter, not I. Frank apparently didn't read "The Discomfiter's" blogger profile or see from the rest of "The Discomfiter's blog" how the Christian disguised as a gay atheist was attempting to slander both.

In October, 2006, Frank added to his blog for Monday, October 23, 2006, something titled, "Ed Babinski Exposed - see, we told you so!" which consists of an email from a new employee at the university where I work who said they met me once and upon meeting me suspected I might be a "child molester." So Frank also publishes mere innuendos if they are insulting.

Unfortunately for Frank, I recall the event, the circumstances and know who made the remark. An employee who works in a non-library office (the library includes offices of non-library departments), had been invited along with other new employees to a morning coffee break so as to meet everyone else in the library. I had not seen this employee at any previous coffee breaks in the library's main break room. Neither was this employee at my 50th-birthday surprise party that friends on the library staff arranged in a large lecture room (though there were non-library friends who attended, along with some funny birthday videos sent in by others I knew on campus). Therefore, I had had no prior contact with this person, none that I recall, prior to that morning break for new faculty and staff members. I asked several new staff and faculty members their names and took a pad to spell them correctly since their names have to be added to their mailboxes so my students can file the mail correctly. (All the mail including the latest journals, newspapers, catalogs, flows through my department) As for my mishearing this person's name and asking them to repeat it, I had completed a large morning's mail sort with my students, and arrived a little late to the break and hadn't had either breakfast nor coffee, so I grabbed a pen and a yellow post-it pad which was handy and began introducing myself.

Aside from this person's "suspicion" that they thought I might be a "child molester," their story states that I misheard their name and I misrepeated it. I do not have as acute hearing as I used to have, and it was a relatively small breakroom with plenty of people chatting away in it or passing out food. I simply wished to spell this person's name correctly on their post office box. Neither did I know she was married to another non-library department employee with whom I've had friendly discussions in the break room about a shared love of science fiction and fantasy books and films. So I was surprised upon recognizing this new person's last name, and realizing that this employee's spouse was working in an office close to his.

Thirdly, as for my relationship with fellow employees, they have requested I deliver humorous speeches on special occasions, including retirement speeches. The longest serving employee at Furman asked me personally to deliver her retirement speech, and I worked with my comedy duo friend Ryan and we came up with a great presenation that the audience loved. A dean of the colege who atteneded told me it was the funniest retirement speech he'd ever heard. And the retiree and her daughters thanked me profusely. On my 50th birthday the staff threw me a surprise birthday party that was simply overwhelming. I rec'd remails from former bosses and people I've worked with, that were read aloud. One former co-worker (whom I had roasted when she left) phoned me during the party to wish me well. Another sent me an email that said she still keeps a copy of the funny speech I wrote and delivered when she left Furman for a job in Florida. One person wrote and delivered a funny poem, another rewrote the lyrics to a Paul Simon song, making it read, "50 Ways to Work in Serials" and made it into a sing along that everyone joined in on, others purchased gift items that had turned 50-years-old just like me, items that included Play Doh and Yatzee, and presented me with them. They made banners with the things that happened the year I was born, the top ten songs and movies of that year and other top ten lists. I even rec'd an email from the library's former director. And my friend Ryan (who is my comedy buddy at work) made a video featuring interviews with professors and others on campus whom I knew who couldn't make that morning's party, and their comments were sweet and hilarious. It was a surprise party, and my boss took me to the room where everyone was waiting and they jumped out and shouted Happy Birthday. I was taken aback tremendously. I also have received birthday cards from a former boss on my birthday for years. I feel very fortunate to work where I do with such wonderful people.