Christians . . . It’s Worse Than You Think!

(Every few years, I like to remind Christians of their Biblical reality.)

According to the God’s Word, the Bible and based on modern statistics, this is what Christians have going for them in God Almighty): 

      A. Their  God is omnipotent (Having unlimited power and authority).

B.  Their God is omnipresent (He is present everywhere).
C.  Their God is omniscient (Having total knowledge).
D. Their God commands billions of angels of which just one could destroy the world.
E. They are members of a group of believers totaling over 2.2 billion members.
F. As a member of Church Universal, Christian collective membership takes in and operates on a budget of around 500 billion dollars per year.
G. Ironically (according to the Book of Revelation), with all His superlatives, God, by His own confession, is losing the battle with Satan.
H. The only hope Christians have is for the return of Jesus to usher in a New Age.  As command by Jesus for the last 2,000 years, Christians are told to keep looking up; waiting and watching!

On the other hand . . .  

According to the Biblical Theology and based on modern statistics, this is what Christians have against them in a weak Satan
A.  Satan has limited power (Only what power God gives him since he was created by God).
B.  Satan is not omnipresent (He is not and can’t be present everywhere at once).
C. Satan is not omniscient (Satan evidently is either illiterate or has not been given a Bible, so he's too dumb to figure out what’s going to happen.  Thus, he must be just damn lucky!)
D.  Satan leads a small army of fallen angels called demons.
E.   Satan has no true believers (Just a few "Dabblers").
F.  Since Satan has no membership for support (no income from tithes and offerings), he has no budget; so he’s officially eternally broke. 
G.  However, based on both the Bible and the history of Christian theology and preaching, Satan is kicking God’s ass, big time! (The Creature is kicking the stuffing out of the Creator!)
H.  Since Satan never left this world, he doesn't have to returnBad news for Christians!

In light of the above shocking facts, how is this explained in order to comfort Christians? It's a Divine Mystery (A theological term coined by the Catholic Church).