I spent over a decade studying systematic theologies, apologetics, and hard core Bible study. I even learned a good deal of Greek so I could translate the N.T. for myself. I spent many, many, hours in prayer to no avail. Finally after years of vigorous study, and unanswered prayer and an outsider test of faith, I became an agnostic.See his new Blog.
It is so liberating not having to defend Christianity anymore. Not only do you have to accept the ridiculous story of Noah and his ark, but you also have to defend eternal conscious torment, and of course you have to defend against all of the cults: Mormonism, J.W.'s, Muslims, Catholics. No wonder I had a nervous breakdown.